Last month, we talked about Redirecting—that crucial first move when chaos hits and the brain is screaming in every direction. Redirecting is about attention.
But this month? We’re talking about interpretation. Because the story you tell yourself about your situation often hurts more than the situation itself. That’s where Reframing comes in.
WHEN THE STORM HITS, THE MEATLOAF DOESN’T MATTER
I once asked an audience, “How many of you have ever helped clean up after a storm?” Hands flew up. Everyone had a story.
But here’s the thing: no one stands around debating long-term infrastructure strategy. They clear debris, check on neighbors, and—if we’re being honest—hope the meatloaf in the fridge survived.
It’s human instinct. In crisis, we focus on survival. And that’s exactly how success and resilience work, too. They aren’t defined by one heroic moment or a Hollywood montage. They’re built in the aftermath. In the debris. In the unglamorous, deeply human act of deciding how to keep going.
THE REAL CRISIS?
We’ve become the victims of our own internal monologue. We tell ourselves:
- “I should be further along.”
- “I should’ve had more people at my event.”
- “I should’ve bounced back by now.”
Me? I’ve should’ve’d myself into an emotional spiral more times than I can count.
Especially after eleven surgeries.
I’ve thought:
- I should’ve never taken that dive.
- I should’ve healed faster.
- I should’ve stopped at five surgeries instead of twelve.
And the worst part? Every time I started to feel a flicker of hope, my brain hit me with a pop quiz on everything I wasn’t. Sound familiar?
We create these internal hurricanes—churning storms of shame and self-doubt—and then try to build our lives inside them. No wonder it’s exhausting.
THE SCIENCE: HOW YOUR BRAIN MAKES IT WORSE (BUT ALSO BETTER)
Here’s the neuroscience behind it: Your brain loves shortcuts. It runs on mental playlists—patterns of interpretation it’s used a thousand times. Think of them like background music for your thoughts.
If your mental playlist says:
- “I’m only successful when I hit a certain number,”
- or “Rest is lazy,”
- or “Happiness means having it all together,”
…then guess what? You’ll never feel like you’re enough. That’s not your fault.
It’s how the amygdala (your fear center) and prefrontal cortex (your rational decision-maker) play tug-of-war. The amygdala screams “DANGER: You’re failing!” The prefrontal cortex whispers, “Maybe not. Let’s look at the data.”
Reframing is how you amplify that whisper. You pause. You question the old story.And you offer your brain a new one.
That moment of reframe? That’s where real power lives.
Personal Story
Static sentence: I never recommend anything I haven’t tested extensively in my own life—I’m the chief scientist in my personal laboratory of perspective. And I know you’re doing the best you can with your own experiments too.
Here’s where reframing became real for me.
After developing a stage IV pressure sore—yes, that’s a bedsore down to the bone—I spent an entire year in bed. Flat. Immobile. Every ounce of independence stripped away.
Then, in the middle of that already soul-punching situation, my insurance provider started denying medically necessary equipment I needed to physically survive. Not to thrive—just to stay alive.
And I got angry. And when I get angry? I get productive.
So for some light bedtime reading (pun fully intended), I started digging into corporate medical policy. I learned how to navigate the health insurance appeals process. I taught myself how to write letters of medical necessity, backed by peer-reviewed journal articles and enough legal language to make a compliance officer weep.
And then—I started winning. One by one, I overturned every denial. Until I hit the big one. My insurance provider denied me a power seat elevator, claiming it was a luxury item—a “convenience,” not a medical need.
Spoiler: it is not a convenience to be able to transfer safely, reach the stove, or make eye contact without dislocating your neck.
So I took a different route. I emailed 57 investigative reporters across the country. Three picked up my story. Two weeks later, my insurance company reversed their decision. They approved my seat elevator. But then they added a dagger to the end of the email: “This is not a precedent. You cannot use this to help others.”
Oh really?
That was my line in the sand. So I joined a national coalition of advocates in Washington, D.C., and spent the next several years working with Medicare to change the system for good. And in 2023, we succeeded. Landmark legislation was passed reclassifying power seat elevators as medically necessary for millions of wheelchair users. It was a moment that reframed everything for me.
Later that year, I was honored to be crowned Ms. Wheelchair America 2023—not for pageantry, but for policy change. For refusing to accept “no” as the end of the story.
This journey of reframing success and resilience led me to keynote speaking, corporate consulting, and pro-bono advocacy. But more importantly, it taught me this:
“Success and resilience aren’t separate destinations. They’re companions on the same journey.”
Success wasn’t being handed an approval letter. Success was showing up—over and over—to fight for it. That’s when passion became purpose. It led to national wins. It led to real change. It led to a new definition of resilience: Not just getting back up… But standing up for something that matters.
Professional Application:
Reframing is a powerful leadership tool. It doesn’t mean pretending things are fine. It means helping your team see what’s still working, even when the scoreboard looks rough.
When metrics dip, ask:
- “What progress are we missing because we’re only measuring outcomes?”
- “What story are we telling ourselves about this ‘failure’—and is it the only one?”
Sometimes success isn’t the big launch. It’s the scrappy team who figured it out when everything changed.
SMALL SHIFTS, BIG POWER
Reframing doesn’t have to be dramatic. In fact, the tiniest shifts often carry the biggest impact:
- From “We didn’t hit goal” → “We uncovered 3 things to optimize next quarter.”
- From “This isn’t what we planned” → “This is what we learned under pressure.”
Those are the stories that shape culture.
Personal Application:
You know that moment—the one where you’re spiraling in your head at 2PM on a Tuesday, wondering if everyone else has it together but you?
Yeah, that one.
Reframing doesn’t mean pretending you’re okay. It means giving yourself a new lens to look through when the old one keeps pointing out your flaws.
Try this next time the “I should’ve…” soundtrack starts blasting:
WANT TO TRY IT?
- Name the Story
What are you telling yourself? (“I failed. I’m behind. I don’t have it together.”) - Interrupt It
Ask: “What else could be true here?” - Choose a New Frame
Try: “I survived today. That counts.”
Or: “I made progress no one else saw—but I did.”
This isn’t just about mindset. It’s about telling the truth in a way that helps you move—not shut down.
Resilience doesn’t mean you never crack. It means you don’t let the cracks keep you from growing.
Wrap Up:
Reframing doesn’t erase the chaos. It doesn’t make hard things easy, and it definitely doesn’t guarantee applause, clarity, or a flawless outcome. But what it does is give you back the pen. It reminds your brain that you don’t have to believe every unkind thing you think. You don’t have to keep telling the same old story. You get to choose what this moment means—and that choice isn’t fluff. It’s neuroscience. It’s leadership. It’s resilience in real time.
So when life hands you the wrong map, the wrong numbers, or the wrong ramp, take a breath. Don’t pretend everything’s fine. Just reframe what’s still yours to control—and then move forward, even if it’s just one sentence at a time. Because how you define success today is exactly how you build your strength for tomorrow.
Speaking on Capitol Hill at a Congressional briefing during my year as Ms. Wheelchair America 2023—advocating for landmark legislation to reclassify power seat elevators as medically necessary for millions of wheelchair users across the nation.
TWO THINGS FOR YOU TO THINK ABOUT
- Reframing isn’t about putting a bow on your breakdown. It’s about finding power in how you interpret what’s happening—even if it’s still hard.
- Success isn’t always about arrival. Sometimes, it’s about endurance. Sometimes, it’s about laughing while navigating a metaphorical (or literal) ramp that’s way too steep.
TWO THINGS FOR YOU TO ASK YOURSELF
- Where am I defining success in a way that actually makes me feel like I’m failing?
- What’s one belief I’m holding that might need a little reframing—and a lot less judgment?
ONE THING FOR YOU TO TRY THIS WEEK
- Each time you catch yourself thinking “I should have…”—pause. Replace the sentence with: “What I did do was…” It’s not toxic positivity. It’s cognitive reprogramming. And your brain needs practice.
Remember: Reframing isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about choosing a story that helps you move forward—especially when the old one is holding you back.
